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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too,

 can become great.

“ O oh , not again,” Sohni Vessels moaned to herself as she entered the house and heard the phone ringing.  She was just returning from the grocery store and really didn’t feel like being bothered.  Looking at the caller id she could see that it was another call from the AGP Collections Agency.  Sohni was so overwhelmed from all the calls from bill collectors.  Since stepping out on faith to pursue her dream of starting her own business, it seemed as though the bills were coming faster and much more frequently.  Bringing in the last of the groceries, she decided to put them up later but for now she would just lie down and take a nap.  She always slept when things became too overwhelming for her.  It was her way of escaping reality; the reality of seeing those things that were really bad.  The pressure was getting so intense that she found herself slowly slipping into a state of depression.  Where was that million-dollar smile of hers and her bubbly attitude?  Where were the words of encouragement that she gave away on a daily basis?  She had to get things in order in a hurry.  The phone rang again and interrupted both Sohni’s pity party and her nap.

            “Hey girl what took you so long to answer the phone?”  Her friend Jacey inquired.

“Oh hi, Jacey; I was just lying down trying to escape my problems for a moment.  I’ve been trying to manage my debt by being a good steward, but all I ever receive is bad news and….”  Realizing that she was rambling, Sohni turned her attention back to Jacey.  “Oh I’m sorry girl, I know you didn’t call to hear me vent.  What’s up?”

            “It’s okay, you hardly ever vent so if that’s what you need to do, I’m here.  You have so much to be thankful for and you know the Lord has you covered girl.”

“You’re right sweetie” Sohni said weakly. “Is everything all right?  How did your job interview go?”

Jacey had been trying to find employment at local dress shops while pursuing the dream of having her own dress boutique.  Her boutique wasn’t going to be fashioned like the norm. It was going to be “design on a dime” which meant Jacey would get ideas from her potential customers and design garments according to their taste, thus them owning an original.  It was a great concept that had not yet been capitalized on. 

“I think they’re interested,” Jacey said, “but they told me that they would let me know something, either way, in about two weeks so we’ll see what happens.”

            “Well don’t give up and don’t stop creating.  There are a lot of companies that would welcome your expertise.”

            “Yeah girl thanks for the words of encouragement.  It would just be great to work at a company that is in line with my calling.  Keep me in your prayers.  I’ll talk to you later.”

Sohni hung up the phone.  She was sure that Jacey would find a job in her field and realize her dream of becoming a world renowed designer.  Catching her lingering thoughts, Sohni almost laughed.  Here she was again, encouraging everyone else.  The Lord had made her “special” and had given her a heart full of compassion for others and she hated to see people hurt.   

 The phone rang and interrupted her thoughts once again.  This time it was her youngest sister, Ziona, who said she needed to talk to her about something and wanted to come right over.  Sohni hung up and began to put away the groceries that she had just brought in earlier.  She couldn’t lie back down now.   What could be so important that Ziona had to rush over to see her?  Recently she had gone to the doctor for her annual check-up.  Sohni prayed that it wasn’t bad news that her sister needed to deliver personally.   They had been through so much together.  They could laugh, cry and joke about life’s changes, even the ones that were hurtful.  As she hurried to put away the remaining groceries, Sohni stopped and said a quick prayer to the Lord.

“Dear Lord, please give me ears to hear and a heart to receive whatever Ziona feels she needs to share with me.  Let me not be opinionated or judgmental but to clearly hear from you when and if I am to speak.  I thank you Lord for giving me the spirit of discernment and I pray that you give her peace.  It’s in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” 

Sohni finished her task of putting the groceries away just as the doorbell rang. When she opened the door, she found Ziona on the other side.   “Dawg girl, where were you when you called, in my driveway?”  She asked while hugging her sister. “Come on in.”

            “Nah, I was in your subdivision and just needed to talk to you in person,” Ziona told her as she walked in and sat down at the kitchen table. 

             “So what’s this big thing that has you itching in your pants?” Sohni asked nonchalantly sitting down at the table facing Ziona.

With her eyes glowing, Ziona screamed out, “Are you ready for this? I finally got a date!  A date!  Can you believe it?”

            “A date?  You have a date with whom and where did you meet him?”

“I have a date with the guy that I’ve been admiring from a distance at church.  I finally got up the nerve to say something to him.”  As Ziona looked at Sohni she saw that her sister had a look of confusion on her face but she continued anyway.  “It was after Bible Study and the opportunity was great.  He was standing there and I took a chance and approached him, making light conversation concerning the sermon.  Then politely I asked if he was married.  He said he wasn’t and asked if he could walk me to my car. One conversation led to another and BAM!  We had a real date set up.”  Ziona said smiling and practically jumping out of her skin.

“Okay, so where are you two going on this real date?”

Ziona laughed and said, “We’re going to dinner and afterwards a play at the Civil Auditorium on next Sunday.”

“I need to start attending Bible Study more often,” Sohni said laughing.  “This must be some man to get you to come out of your shell.  Just take it slow and allow you guys to become friends.  Don’t be so critical that you start finding things wrong with him.  You know how to break a man down and make him fit into what you ‘think’ a man should be, never accepting the package that has been delivered to you.”

“I know, I know, that’s why I had to get over here so I could get your opinion as to my approach.  You know first impressions are everlasting,” said Ziona.

“Wear something sultry yet classy and don’t try to show off your cleavage.  Remember he’s a Christian man and not one of the usual thuggish guys that you’re used to dating.  Use some common sense and girl don’t try to impress him by being someone that you’re not. Just be yourself and I’m sure your date will go just fine.”

“Yeah, yeah, I hate to leave so suddenly but I need to stop by the mall on my way home.  See, this is one of those times that I wish Jacey had her shop open because you know she’ll hook a sistah up.” Ziona got up from the table and walked around it to hug her sister. “Thanks so much for your time.  I’ll drop back by tomorrow and let you see what I bought.  I appreciate you girl.”  She said just before walking out, leaving Sohni standing in the doorway. 

Ziona and Sohni had a close relationship.  Of the six children in their family, it just seemed as though they had bonded the best.  Secretly, Ziona had told Sohni that she looked up to her because she always had a peace about her and could make her laugh about any situation. Ziona told Sohni that she always felt blessed that she had her in her life.

On the other hand, Ziona also had a wonderful personality.  She was the sibling that always seemed to motivate others because she always had ‘that bright idea.’  Ziona had stopped dating once because her heart had been bruised one too many times.  She’d been so bitter and hell-bent on condemning all men.  It had really taken “an act of God” to pull her back into reality.  She had held many different jobs and they all seemed to   give her a higher level of maturity both personally and professionally.  Nothing was out of bounds with her until the guy that she thought she would be with forever broke her heart into so many pieces that Ziona never thought it would mend.  Eventually she bounced back and after developing a relationship with the Lord and making Him her first love again, she was able to date once more.

“Be careful and don’t stay out too late!” Sohni yelled to her sister as she backed her car out of the driveway.  Her sister’s happiness meant a lot to her.  Inwardly, as she watched the car disappear around the corner, Sohni prayed that her sister would take things slowly and not go on the date expecting a deep relationship right away.  

            Dear Lord, please don’t allow my sister to get her heart broken again.  If this is not the man that you would choose for her, then please allow them to gain a mutual understand as friends so that she can believe in the relationship aspect of men and women again.  Now Lord, give me new insight as I continue to listen to the rest of my messages.  Thank you for having mercy on me.  Amen.

            Sohni went to her desk and decided to go through her bills once more.  She had to devise a new plan to erase her outstanding debt.  This was one of her giants that she was going to face today.

C hapter T wo

Y

The one thing that I thought was going to kill me was the very thing that made me strong.  The one thing that I thought would end my life – little did I know would be the thing that made me whole.

C arly was one of Sohni’s friends from her childhood.  Her life was so full of drama.  She always was in the middle of or just getting out of a personal jam.  Most people didn’t like to be around her but Sohni was different.  She saw the part in Carly that was hardly ever seen to by others.     

Sohni was daydreaming when she heard the doorbell ring.  For her, working at home sometimes became difficult because all of her friends were aware that she was there for much of the day.  It was already three o’clock in the afternoon and she had hardly completed anything on her ‘to do’ list for the day.  This was supposed to be a productive day wherein she had planned to complete all the tiny assignments that she had been pushing to the side.  Her energy was near zero and she was drained.  The burden of her finances was also getting to her, making her feel like such a hypocrite. 

Here she was worrying about the very thing that she advised others to let go of.   Would what was being preached ever apply to her life?  Would she ever be successful and able to truly be a blessing to others?  Was successjust a fairy tale that happened to others but not her? 

Okay enough of all that.  Sohni scolded herself for the negative thoughts she’d allowed to crowd her mind. She needed to get back to her list and complete the Donnie’s Appeal contract. She must have started this thing a thousand times but just could not get motivated to finish it.  Just as she was beginning to focus on the task ahead, the doorbell rang again.   Peering through the peephole she saw that it was Carly knocking on the door.

            “Hey Sohni, you in there?” Carly called. When the door opened for her, she asked, “What’s going on?”  

            “I’m just trying to complete this contract so that I can collect on it and get some of these bill collectors off my back.  What’s up with you?”

            “I don’t know where to start,” Carly answered. “I need your insight on something.” 

            “Okay have a seat.  What’s on your mind?”

            Looking around the room Carly took a deep breath and began to pace the floor.  “I can’t sit right now.  I need to say this standing before I lose my nerve to tell you.  Last night I saw Ricky at the Phoenix Club hugged up with someone else.”  She paused and then began pacing the floor again.  “He called me yesterday and told me that he had sprained his ankle while playing basketball with his friends and he had to cancel our date.  He doesn’t even know that I was there and saw him.  He called me this morning like everything was okay – talking about his ankle had gone down and that he wanted to take me to dinner tonight.”

            “Did you ask him about the club scene?”

            “No.  I just made him think that I was still Miss Naïve.  How do I ask him?  We’re engaged, Sohni.  He’s a good man and he’s good to me.  What should I do?”

            Sohni knew she had to really think about this question before she answered because Carly was in a real sensitive place right now and was very fragile.  “Why don’t you just ask him about where he was last night and then if he lies tell him where you saw him.  Don’t play games; be straight with him.”

             “Suppose he gives me an answer that I don’t want to hear, then what?  What do I do?”

            “Carly, you’re going to have to be a woman about this and be prepared.  Do you trust him to tell you the truth?”

            “I don’t know Sohni.  All I know is that I love him so much, and that I have to confront this issue so that I can have peace of mind and our relationship can go forward.”

            “Carly, you can’t help who your heart loves.  Maybe it’s not what you think.  Find out all the facts before you jump to any more conclusions.  Anyway, I need to get back to work so I can finish this contract and you need to go take care of your business.”

            Looking around at Sohni’s desk, Carly noticed that her inbox was pretty full.  “Do you need me to help you do anything while I’m here?  You know I know your business inside and out.  You better utilize me while I’m here.”  Carly said smiling.  She knew Sohni’s business because she had taught Carly much of it during a time when they were seriously considering being business partners. In the end, Carly received a more lucrative offer and went for it.

            “No girl, go on,” Sohni shrugged. “I’ll make it.  I’m just going to put on some Kirk Whalum and whiz through this work.  Go handle your business.  You know I’m here if you need me.”

            “Before I go can we pray together?  I need some additional anointing to help me with this confrontation.” 

            “Yeah, come on sweetie.”  With their hands touching and their hearts and minds in agreement, Sohni began to pray.

            “Dear Lord, we come to you on one accord seeking your covering.  Lord, please give Carly the words to speak and Father, please give her ears to hear and a heart to receive.  Let her decrease and you increase.  Don’t let her lose her religion.  Order her footsteps so that she may walk in your wisdom.  We come to you as sisters covered by your blood.  We love you Jesus and it is in your precious name we pray. Amen”

            Carly lifted up her head and flashed a grateful smile.  “Okay girl, I’m off to confront my man.  Stay near the phone because I may need you,” she said as she left out the door.

            Sohni stood in the doorway and watched Carly drive off, just as she had done minutes earlier with Ziona.  She said an extra prayer in her spirit that Ricky had a good explanation as to why he had lied to his fiancé.  She hated seeing relationships torn apart and broken. Lord knows she knew about broken hearts and promises. But now she was ready to settle down herself.  There was a certain man that had been occupying her thoughts for quite some time.  His name was Ashtel Meeks and he was in the military.  She had met him at the bowling alley on Fort Japlin Army Post.  Shortly after that, he had received an assignment that sent him to to the west coast, but had given her his address in case she decided to write him one day.   She wasn’t sure whether or not he would remember her but she was willing to take the chance.  Who knows? He could turn out to be her Adam.  There was no time like the present to find out.   

            After a moment of searching, Sohni found her address book. Initially she had written down his address with no intention of using it.   Although he was extremely nice and somewhat quiet, one could say that he wasn’t her type; but opposites did attract.   Upon their meeting, Sohni just thought he was being a ‘nice guy’ and perhaps had had one too many drinks.  She later found out that he wasn’t drunk and had been watching her for quite some time.  What would she say in her letter?  Should she include a picture?  She began writing.

Dear Ashtel:

I hope that you remember who I am.  I pray that everything is going well for you on the west coast.   I decided to take you up on your offer and get to know you better.  My home-based company is going okay.

Thank you for your input.  I had a hard time trying to decide if I should send a picture of myself and my inner intuition won out over my first guess.  This is not the best picture of me but it should jog your memory as to who I am andwhat I look like. 

Write me back and send me some pictures of yourself and your surroundings.  Also I’m giving you my email address so that we can keep in touch virtually.  I look forward to hearing from you either virtually or through USPS.  My email address is Sohnilovely2@netcup.com.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Sohni Vessels

Sohni felt both anxious and relieved.  She had been thinking of writing him for the past three months.  Now she could cross it off her ‘to do’ list.  With the letter complete, Sohni somehow found new motivation. She went to the stereo and placed Kirk Whalum’s CD in and began to complete her list.  The renewed energy felt good but Sohni knew that shewould have to keep busy so that she would not think about the return reply from Ashtel.  This was a fresh and new start for her.

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